dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
