life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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