4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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