How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
