i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
