proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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