fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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