Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
