can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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