Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
