i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
