Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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