I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
God, I missed his penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
