quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
