I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
