We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
this boner is exhausting
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
