I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
