I wish I could punch you in the face.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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