Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
