So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
