Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
