we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I enjoy the company of your penis
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
