just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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