Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is wine microwaveable?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
