i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
