I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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