mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
