Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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