I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
