you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
