the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
