we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
