my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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