cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
