So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
