the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
