My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
