You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
