People with herpes should wear stickers.
well you can't waste a boner
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
