someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Enjoy the penises
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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