good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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