It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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