you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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