remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
