Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
