Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Who died my cat blue again?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
