I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
