It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Operation Purity has been aborted
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
