I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
