Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
