I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
