They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize