Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am midnight drunk by noon
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
