Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
