DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
