I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
