just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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