went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
