i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize