your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
