Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
