Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
