i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
