Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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